I have personally witnessed hundreds of people going through the healing process, through my 15+ years of helping others with the use of craniosacral, myofascial release, energetic balancing, somatic coaching, and sound healing.
In this witnessing, I have observed enough people to have an accumulative knowing of what the general flow looks like.
Things get stirred up and some symptoms can get worse, during and/or following the first 3 to 9 sessions on average (depending on the individual’s disposition in life).
During this same introductory period of things getting stirred up and some symptoms worsening, there is almost always a simultaneous deep calm that comes over the soul. This soul-calming comes at just the right time. It helps prepare and let who we are beyond our bodies know that we must be strong now. We must be strong in order to let go of control and allow our bodies to go through what an outside perspective could perceive as unnecessary suffering. As an insider though, my perspective allows me to see what the body and soul partnership go through is simply “what is needed” to truly heal, beyond symptoms and through cause.
After the first few sessions of increased activity and what feels like the murky sediment of a pond being stirred up, things begin to lighten up and slowly get better. Keep in mind that the older our bodies are in human years, the more separate traumas we (We = The combination of our body & spirit) have experienced, and each trauma often tends to need it’s own process. It is best not to expect an easy hop-skip-and-a-jump into feeling awesome right away. We must be willing and fully committed to going through it all.
Write a list of your self limiting beliefs and for each belief, ask yourself the following questions:
The Four Questions
1. Is it true? (Y or N. If no, go to 3.)
2. Can you absolutely know that it’s true? (Y or N)
3. When you believe this thought to be true, how do you feel? How do you treat other people or experiences when you feel that way? Who do you show up as?
4. Who would you be without that belief?
Turn your belief around to the opposite, your self, and to the other.
For example, “People don’t like me.” turns around to:
• I don’t like me. (to the self)
• I don’t like people. (to the other)
• People like me. (to the opposite)
Look for instances when the turned around belief is true in your life. This allows you to feel what it would be like if you believed the opposite, and how it is the beliefs you hold on to as true that dictate whether or not you struggle in life.
For someone who has been abused at an early age, an unhealthy sense of boundaries can develop as a result. It can show up in many ways.
An abuse survivor will often have memories of a loved one (usually older) violating their trust and boundaries; and when it came time to say no they felt frozen or in some way unable to say no.
Sometimes a survivor might find themselves always worrying about what others are thinking. They track others constantly in order to guage whether or not someone they are with might suddenly want to violate their personal space. Sadly, if this space is about to be violated the tracker often allows it. It is a lose lose situation where a person is always on guard but when the time comes to act the learned action of inaction takes over, thus perpetuating the dysfunctional cycle of worrying about others while still allowing them to violate one’s self.
Another way a survivor’s boundaries can be blurred is by the desire to always be in the good graces of others, wanting to please them above one’s own needs; as learned during the initial abuse. This can impact one’s ability to show up authentically, and instead create an ability to adapt for all types of personalities in order to be able to make anyone happy. This creates obsessive compulsive traits, perfectionistic traits, and belittles one’s own life essence as less important than being approved of by others. Because of this, one might often choose to do something for another because it makes that person happy, even if it violates one’s boundaries.
These are just a few examples of the long reaching potential ways of being that can manifest, after someone’s boundaries and trust are violated during a time in their life when they are developing their way of navigating life. It is only when we can begin to see such patterns while also acknowledging our past trauma, that we can finally start rewriting our operating system and self identities to reflect what WE truly want.
One of the most common things that I work on with my clients is recognizing and disempowering their past way of being.
There is who you are right now. There is who you have been. And there is who you want to be.
Who you want to be does not often fit with your past way of being. When threatened, your past way of being can employ: -Disruptive panic -An eruption of unstoppable emotion or derailing action
For many people, their past way of being has had ultimate power over them for most of their life. They made a decision at a young age usually to move through life with a certain operating system. Ultimately as people mature, they innately want to grow out of this old and stagnant way of being. You want to feel in control of who you are, as you in the present moment, not your past way of being dictating a stale and unhealthy sense of self.
When experiences present themselves to you as opportunities to change and operate differently from your past way of being, it can feel threatened and often employ whatever it can to distract you, to take you off course and ultimately prevent you from taking your power back; in a way that would inevitably affect it’s ability to influence and keep you from transforming.
Your past way of being is not the voice of God and it is not the source of universal life force energy speaking directly to you. It is your voice of doubt, protection, fight or flight, and self preservation that IS there for a reason, but when left to its own devices WILL run rampant and act as if it IS God. If it can, it will make you believe that too.
Recognizing when you are free versus when you are limited by your past mode of operating is the beginning of stepping into your own power to change.
It is your choice to remain under the your past way of being’s influence, or to embark on the journey up the endless steps of limitless self empowerment.