I have personally witnessed hundreds of people going through the healing process, through my 15+ years of helping others with the use of craniosacral, myofascial release, energetic balancing, somatic coaching, and sound healing.
In this witnessing, I have observed enough people to have an accumulative knowing of what the general flow looks like.
Things get stirred up and some symptoms can get worse, during and/or following the first 3 to 9 sessions on average (depending on the individual’s disposition in life).
During this same introductory period of things getting stirred up and some symptoms worsening, there is almost always a simultaneous deep calm that comes over the soul. This soul-calming comes at just the right time. It helps prepare and let who we are beyond our bodies know that we must be strong now. We must be strong in order to let go of control and allow our bodies to go through what an outside perspective could perceive as unnecessary suffering. As an insider though, my perspective allows me to see what the body and soul partnership go through is simply “what is needed” to truly heal, beyond symptoms and through cause.
After the first few sessions of increased activity and what feels like the murky sediment of a pond being stirred up, things begin to lighten up and slowly get better. Keep in mind that the older our bodies are in human years, the more separate traumas we (We = The combination of our body & spirit) have experienced, and each trauma often tends to need it’s own process. It is best not to expect an easy hop-skip-and-a-jump into feeling awesome right away. We must be willing and fully committed to going through it all.
For someone who has been abused at an early age, an unhealthy sense of boundaries can develop as a result. It can show up in many ways.
An abuse survivor will often have memories of a loved one (usually older) violating their trust and boundaries; and when it came time to say no they felt frozen or in some way unable to say no.
Sometimes a survivor might find themselves always worrying about what others are thinking. They track others constantly in order to guage whether or not someone they are with might suddenly want to violate their personal space. Sadly, if this space is about to be violated the tracker often allows it. It is a lose lose situation where a person is always on guard but when the time comes to act the learned action of inaction takes over, thus perpetuating the dysfunctional cycle of worrying about others while still allowing them to violate one’s self.
Another way a survivor’s boundaries can be blurred is by the desire to always be in the good graces of others, wanting to please them above one’s own needs; as learned during the initial abuse. This can impact one’s ability to show up authentically, and instead create an ability to adapt for all types of personalities in order to be able to make anyone happy. This creates obsessive compulsive traits, perfectionistic traits, and belittles one’s own life essence as less important than being approved of by others. Because of this, one might often choose to do something for another because it makes that person happy, even if it violates one’s boundaries.
These are just a few examples of the long reaching potential ways of being that can manifest, after someone’s boundaries and trust are violated during a time in their life when they are developing their way of navigating life. It is only when we can begin to see such patterns while also acknowledging our past trauma, that we can finally start rewriting our operating system and self identities to reflect what WE truly want.