You know that saying, “You can’t please everyone all the time…”?
Technically, after years and years of sacrificing your own integrity and self worth you can definitely dial in a way of being that allows you to please everyone, all the time. I think a better phrasing would be, “You should not sacrifice your own truth in order to please everyone all the time.”
A while back, I had a conversation with my martial arts instructor who I asked about pivotal times in his life. We talked about issues with boundaries coming up constantly, and through sharing we came to the understanding of how this can relate to trying to please EVERYONE all the time. Trying to be liked by ALL my clients, all my friends, all my family members, all so I can avoid someone disliking me. This works great when I’m OK with being in relation to others from a place of diminished stature, a type of camouflage where I don’t stand out too much and I don’t disappear completely. But diminished stature won’t allow me to truly embody the level of integrity and confidence in my purpose needed to attain the success I want in this lifetime.
When you find your self, and your identity noticing similar things you are likely at a crossroads, where you can either choose to remain in mediocrity, or choose to stop trying to control whether or not people like or approve of you. For me, this is directly related to establishing clear boundaries, versus limiting my outward truths just enough to be liked but not loved, and to be insignificant but not disliked. When I say it like that, of course I’d rather walk through life loved or disliked. And sadly for a lot of my early life, my experience was one of mostly being liked but not loved, and being insignificant but not disliked. No thank you, I now choose to be loved or disliked, clearly and with easy acceptance of this truth. I am choosing to walk in my purpose proudly and with humility, not hopeful with insecurity.